What does social emotional learning actually cover at this age?

Students learn to name what they're feeling, calm themselves down when upset, get along with classmates who are different from them, and think before they act. It's the everyday skills behind being a good friend, a steady worker, and a fair teammate.

How can families practice these skills at home?

Talk about feelings out loud during normal moments. Ask what made a day hard or good, and listen without fixing it. When students get frustrated with homework or a sibling, coach them to take a breath, name the feeling, and try one small next step.

What should students be able to do by the end of fifth grade?

Students should be able to name a range of emotions, use a few calming strategies on their own, see a situation from someone else's point of view, work through a disagreement with words, and stop to think about consequences before making a choice.

My child shuts down when they're upset. How do I help?

Wait until the storm passes before talking. Later, walk through what happened and name the feeling together. Practice one calming tool, like slow breathing or stepping away for two minutes, when things are calm so it's ready when things are not.

How should social emotional learning be sequenced across the year?

Start with self-awareness and naming feelings in the first weeks, since students need that vocabulary before anything else. Move into self-management and routines, then into perspective-taking and friendship skills. Save conflict resolution and decision-making for later in the year, once trust is built.

Which skills usually need the most reteaching?

Impulse control and conflict resolution come up again and again. Most students can describe what they should do in a calm moment but struggle to do it when they're angry or embarrassed. Plan to revisit these skills through role-play and real classroom moments all year.

Is this taking time away from reading and math?

Students who can manage frustration and ask for help learn more reading and math, not less. A few minutes a day on naming feelings, group work norms, and calming strategies pays back time that would have been lost to meltdowns and conflicts.

How do I know if a student is ready for middle school socially and emotionally?

Look for students who can advocate for themselves with an adult, recover from a setback without giving up, work in a group with people they didn't choose, and consider how their choices affect others. Those four signs matter more than any single skill checklist.

What does a student learn in ?

This is the stretch when students move from naming feelings to handling them on their own. Students notice what sets them off, try out ways to cool down before reacting, and start seeing a situation from a classmate's side. They also learn to work through small disagreements without an adult stepping in every time. By spring, students can talk about a strong feeling, name a calming strategy they actually used, and work out a problem with a friend.

Naming feelings
Calming strategies
Empathy
Friendships
Solving conflicts
Making choices

Source: Vermont Common Core State Standards

Year at a glance

How the year usually goes. Every school and district set their own curriculum, so treat this as a guide, not official pacing.

1
Knowing yourself
Students name what they feel and notice when feelings get strong. They start to see what they are good at and where they still need practice, without it feeling like a grade.
2
Handling big feelings
Students learn ways to calm down, wait their turn, and stick with a task when it gets hard. They start setting small goals and keeping track of their own work.
3
Seeing other points of view
Students practice listening to classmates whose lives look different from their own. They learn who to go to for help at school, at home, and around town.
4
Friendships and teamwork
Students work on group projects, speak up clearly, and work through disagreements without shutting down or blowing up. They practice offering help as well as asking for it.
5
Making good choices
Students think through what might happen before they act. They weigh how a choice affects them and the people around them, at recess, online, and at home.

Mastery Learning Standards

The required skills a student should display by the end of Grade 3.

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

VT-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to name what they're feeling, notice what they're good at, and understand how their emotions shape the way they act at school and at home.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

VT-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress in the moment, and staying organized enough to follow through on their own goals.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

VT-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, especially someone whose background differs from their own. They also learn to spot the people and places they can turn to for help at school, at home, and in their neighborhood.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

VT-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

VT-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice weighing what might happen before they act, thinking about how a choice affects themselves and the people around them. This applies to everyday moments, from settling a disagreement to deciding how to treat someone new.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to name what they're feeling, notice what they're good at, and understand how their emotions shape the way they act at school and at home.	VT-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress in the moment, and staying organized enough to follow through on their own goals.	VT-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, especially someone whose background differs from their own. They also learn to spot the people and places they can turn to for help at school, at home, and in their neighborhood.	VT-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	VT-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students practice weighing what might happen before they act, thinking about how a choice affects themselves and the people around them. This applies to everyday moments, from settling a disagreement to deciding how to treat someone new.	VT-SEL.5.3-5

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

VT-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to name what they're feeling, notice what they're good at, and understand how their emotions shape the way they act at school and at home.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

VT-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress in the moment, and staying organized enough to follow through on their own goals.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

VT-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, especially someone whose background differs from their own. They also learn to spot the people and places they can turn to for help at school, at home, and in their neighborhood.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

VT-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

VT-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice weighing what might happen before they act, thinking about how a choice affects themselves and the people around them. This applies to everyday moments, from settling a disagreement to deciding how to treat someone new.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to name what they're feeling, notice what they're good at, and understand how their emotions shape the way they act at school and at home.	VT-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress in the moment, and staying organized enough to follow through on their own goals.	VT-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, especially someone whose background differs from their own. They also learn to spot the people and places they can turn to for help at school, at home, and in their neighborhood.	VT-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	VT-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students practice weighing what might happen before they act, thinking about how a choice affects themselves and the people around them. This applies to everyday moments, from settling a disagreement to deciding how to treat someone new.	VT-SEL.5.3-5

Common Questions

What does social emotional learning actually cover at this age?
Students learn to name what they're feeling, calm themselves down when upset, get along with classmates who are different from them, and think before they act. It's the everyday skills behind being a good friend, a steady worker, and a fair teammate.
How can families practice these skills at home?
Talk about feelings out loud during normal moments. Ask what made a day hard or good, and listen without fixing it. When students get frustrated with homework or a sibling, coach them to take a breath, name the feeling, and try one small next step.
What should students be able to do by the end of fifth grade?
Students should be able to name a range of emotions, use a few calming strategies on their own, see a situation from someone else's point of view, work through a disagreement with words, and stop to think about consequences before making a choice.
My child shuts down when they're upset. How do I help?
Wait until the storm passes before talking. Later, walk through what happened and name the feeling together. Practice one calming tool, like slow breathing or stepping away for two minutes, when things are calm so it's ready when things are not.
How should social emotional learning be sequenced across the year?
Start with self-awareness and naming feelings in the first weeks, since students need that vocabulary before anything else. Move into self-management and routines, then into perspective-taking and friendship skills. Save conflict resolution and decision-making for later in the year, once trust is built.
Which skills usually need the most reteaching?
Impulse control and conflict resolution come up again and again. Most students can describe what they should do in a calm moment but struggle to do it when they're angry or embarrassed. Plan to revisit these skills through role-play and real classroom moments all year.
Is this taking time away from reading and math?
Students who can manage frustration and ask for help learn more reading and math, not less. A few minutes a day on naming feelings, group work norms, and calming strategies pays back time that would have been lost to meltdowns and conflicts.
How do I know if a student is ready for middle school socially and emotionally?
Look for students who can advocate for themselves with an adult, recover from a setback without giving up, work in a group with people they didn't choose, and consider how their choices affect others. Those four signs matter more than any single skill checklist.